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Fractured Promises

by mynameismilk

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1.
i was so naive to think that i knew anything i could not recognize disaster even though it was about to be happening to me i could have kept my mouth shut but i asked her i asked her there may be some pain but there won't be any blood except the little bit that's trickling out my ears i never thought your words would feel like being shot the sound that echoes in my head for years and years i thought that someday i'd recover maybe time would just heal all the wounds i sought comfort in the arms of another the next natural disaster coming soon came too soon i can't just get over it after you've torn out my heart why can't life decide to stand still during the good part there may be some pain but there won't be any blood except the little bit that's trickling out my ears tell me how to forget the times when you were shot the pain that echoes in your chest for years and years
2.
envisioning my rise to power i think back to the very hour when i gave birth to this wonderful plan when i grow up i want to be king of canada i want my face put on the loonie if you please the great white north would be my kingdom and i'd reign majestically over all the snow and every maple tree the king of canada is what i want to be the irish have guiness and hurling but give me crown royal molson and curling and a hockey stick as a scepter in my hand every moose and every mounty, every municipality would start to celebrate from coast to coast the cannucks and habs and newfies won't say "HE'S A HOSER!" when they see me 'cause i'd be the king that they'd all love the most
3.
Hooked 02:09
smoking a cigarette you asked me for a hit lots of fish in the sea but i'm the one that bit tried to tear myself away but i couldn't leave had to watch your sleight of hand see what was up your sleeve a whiskey on the rocks you asked me for a sip gave back and empty glass with an imprint of your lip couldn't tear myself away but i didn't really fight i figured you can reel me in and land yourself this fish tonight
4.
tearing down the highway with the windows open you ask yourself is there another chapter or is this the end wishing that you could go back to that day to undo all of the mistakes that you made when you first decided to begin decided to begin you never thought the last six years would end up like it did even if you knew your lips were sealed tight you never wanted to be messing with the devil you just thought you found someone to love and keep you warm at night roll the windows up now 'cause the rain is coming in and it's getting really hard to see what's coming up ahead you've been gaining on the darkness but you dare not turn around confident you are escaping from the land of the living dead the living dead too afraid to question what the hell he even meant by what he said the last time he walked out the door no reason to believe that you will ever meet again as if you ever thought that you would ever meet before.
5.
Old Man 03:32
his footsteps echo all the way up to the altar his body weary but his voice does not falter father to you my confession do i make i've not been thankful for the things you give and take just as i've returned to thee please return my one true love to me he cries out in the streets despite people sleeping waking to the sound of this old man weeping father to you my confession do i give i've not behaved in the ways you would want me to live the weight of this pain is more than i can bear she told me you'd take my sins and all my cares
6.
question all i know what's true seems unclear is this my imagination it's all a dream i fear the bottle's empty now but what else can i do now that i've broken down i've got the guts to call on you big dreams little man is all i heard how long before these dreams come true how can i say the words shake my head and hope my ears stop ringing band's playing louder now but i still can't hear what they're singing how i am crushed but i have not fallen yet all my hope is bound in the moment we first met if i missed the chance to tell you face to face if the feelings go or if the feelings stay after our hearts have gone their separate ways just know i'll always love you big dreams little man is all i heard how long before these dreams come true how can i say "i love you"?
7.
before you even met him, in your heart he had a spot the future misses wescott you heard the rain tonight is turning into snow when sleep will come is something you don't know looking for a place to lay your weary head for free your earthly possessions stacked on someone's borrowed balcony in spite of the pain you feel it's hard to tell you are alive the idea of prayer crosses your mind wondering if you will survive all the times you said you loved him, he already forgot the future misses wescott seemed like any normal day when you just disappeared not the kind of news your loved ones want to hear everyone was in distress to find you to be gone with all the people wondering how they would carry on i woke up twelve years older you still gone without a trace but the memory was still strong you know that time time could not erase the future is thankful for all of the things it's got but the future misses wescott, the future misses wescott
8.
eviction notice came today so i'm moving out to troubletown seven in my hand, the dealer's showing ace but still think that i'll double down one of these days my luck is gonna change one of these days the normal won't seem strange one of these days the odds stacked against me will fall i'll have nothing left to lose so in a way i'll have it all the downward spiral that i'm riding i don't know what made it begin and just because i'm good at losing doesn't mean that i can't win it doesn't mean that i can't win you can't count me out 'cause i am not gonna quit everything i've got is all you're gonna get one of these days my luck is gonna change one of these days the normal won't seem strange one of these days the odds stacked against me will fall i will finally have you here, i will finally have it all
9.
Just One 05:05
coming at you from all sides but it's just one you start to think it's got nine lives but it's just one a million places you can hide but it's just one of all the things that you have tried it's just one, it's just one of all the days that you have saved it's just one all the feelings you've conveyed it's just one all the sorrows that you steal it's just one a hundred wounds left to be healed it's just one, it's just one, just one of all the minutes you don't dream it's just one a momentary change of scene it's just one all of the unconfessed desires it's just one all of the hopes strung up by wires it's just one
10.
Over 04:18
if it's gonna be over it's gotta end like you mean it it's gotta be a new episode so i can't tell you i've seen it if it's gonna be over you're gonna have to make up your mind can go into this one and later claim you were flying blind if it's gonna be over than it's gotta be over please don't waste your time or mine if it's gonna be over then the sooner it's over is the sooner that things will be just fine if it's gonna be over better practice your poker face or i'll never believe you want to leave this place if it's gonna be over it's gotta be your disasterpiece a work of art to tell your heart to rest in peace
11.
Goodnight 03:41
in these small hours long after dark though long before the dawn i send these words on a wire to you only to say goodnight goodnight, i love you goodnight, i love you goodnight in these small hours i stay awake and try to wait so patiently but soon i close my eyes and dream that you will wake me from my sleep and whisper these sweet words to me do you wish that you were here with no wires in between and when you said goodnight to me you'd be in my arms falling asleep i only hope one day to find you feel the same and when we're face to face won't hesitate to say….

credits

released December 18, 2020

Stephen Boettcher: vocals, guitars, bass, keyboards, and percussion
Jared Summerell: drums and guitar
Toby Semain: additional guitar
John Piccari: bass

Produced by: Jared Summerell and Stephen Boettcher
Mixed and Mastered by: Toby Semain
All songs written by: Stephen Boettcher
Recorded at: The Dairy, The Poolhouse, Electrium Studio, and 315 Studio
Engineered by: Stephen Boettcher, Mike Stromsoe, John Piccari, Jared Summerell, and Toby Semain
Illustration: Vittorio Garofoli
Art Direction: Stephen Boettcher

Thank you to: My family, all of the World's Toughest Milkmen through the years, Aron Gibson, No Future Cafe, the Summerells, fawm.org, the MNF crews, the venues I have haunted, the bands who accepted invites to play, those that extended invites, and anybody who came to a show. Even in these times when live music is on hiatus, this recording would not have been made if nobody came to my shows. This is your fault. You know who you are.

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mynameismilk Altadena, California

are you sad? do you want to be? are you experiencing any unfulfilled longings that you may want to draw attention to?

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